I'm not actually keeping track of how many times shit has gone south over the last few months, but 17 is a good number. It's entirely randomly chosen.

I didn't get the position that I interviewed for. I'm more upset by the fact that I have to deal with the rejection of it, adding it to the ever-growing list of things that haven't worked out, than I am about actually not getting the position. I wasn't terribly interested in getting it to begin with, mostly due to the hours, but I was really hoping it would be my ticket out of where I'm at. Going in to a job that I don't want to do would be counterproductive anyway. There'll be a spot opening up at another facility soon, but I want to be there about as much as I want to be where I currently am so going for that would be along the same lines as why I originally tried for the position I was turned down from.

My response to this rejection was to blow up my friends phones by telling them that I'm doomed to be stuck at the place I'm at ... forever. With a corresponding crying face. I stayed quiet the rest of the shift and avoided any kind of social situation. It's probably a good thing I didn't tell anyone in my own department that I was trying to leave. At least everyone else I told will just encourage me to keep trying. I put in 7 more applications this morning. Four of them are all in the same building, but since there were different job numbers, why the fuck not? Can't hurt. Worst that could happen is that the number in the title goes up to the 20s or 30s.

I made two phone calls when I got home from work. I have an appointment set up to get my back fixed, finally. It's still not for some time, but the fact that I have an appointment set up and a design being worked on, I'm stoked. It's been messed up for 8 years and to know that I'll finally have a reputable artist fixing it is awesome. Plus, more ink. What other reason do I need? Duh!

The other is an appointment to meet with a therapist. I'd been thinking about going back, but kept putting it off. I put it off the week before my birthday and it didn't happen last week either so with the negativity that occurred this morning, I knew it was time to finally make that phone call. I actually called a different guy from the one I was originally going to call. I looked at his information again and something told me not to call that guy. So I went with another one who's 'about me' section got my attention. We'll see how the first meet goes. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character when I first meet someone. Every once in a while I'm wrong, but not often. My sister is the same way.

I don't know why I keep getting turned down for positions that I'm applying/interviewing for. Something has to give at some point, right? Where the fuck is the open door that I'm supposed to go through? Hell, I'll take a fucking window at this point. Something open that I can go through and come out on the other side as a success story. I deserve something to go right in my life, dammit.

I guess that the more applications you submit, the more likely it is that at least one of them will be accepted. So, fingers crossed.
» randomjunk on 2014-10-13 10:56:21

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