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Friday
Friday. 3.16.07 8:18 pm
Today started out good. I was a little hung over, but nothing too bad; nothing I couldn't handle. After a couple hours my hang over was gone.

Everyone was in good moods, so that helped the atmosphere. Gary was being very talkative after not having worked the last two days. It was kinda funny.

The day got even better around 3:30. I was standing at the register helping a customer when my phone started ringing. I silenced it before they could hear it and a minute later I heard my phone alert me that whoever had called left me a message. I was confused cuz everyone who calls me knows that I work on Friday and they know that I work all day and into the night.

So after I finished with the customer, I went in the back to see who called and to listen to the message. I opened my phone and looked at the missed calls list. It said Stuart. Stuart called me! And he left a message! My face lit up.

I got permission to check my voicemail {cuz we're not supposed to be on the phone while we're working} and it was a pretty long message. Basically Stuart wanted to call out cuz he fucked up his leg earlier today while playing hockey. So I called him back and told him that all he had to do was come in for a couple hours cuz he was training someone and that he didn't even have to move around; he could make his trainee do all the hard work.

He said okay and for a few more minutes we talked about his day. I loved every minute of it. Then about 15 minutes later he called back to ask something about coming in early so that he could leave earlier than he usually does. Gary and Erin were fine with that. So he called me twice. I was so happy.

That was the end of the happiness, though. The night shift started and everyone's attitudes went down, like they usually do. Stuart came in {sort of limping around, but not too much} and I was happy to see him. I asked what he was doing after work and if he was up to calling me, maybe we could hang out. He said no and all I said was okay. I didn't bother to hide the tone in my voice nor the look on my face. I was upset by it, but I wasn't going to push my luck so that was the end of the convo right there.

I hate not knowing. I hate how one minute it seems as though it might go somewhere, and then the next I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Its starting to bother me. I realize that if its meant to happen it will and that patience pays off and that time will tell, but I'm starting to run out of patience and time. I leave in 4 months. 4 months from now, I'll be leaving for Vegas and a few weeks later, he'll be leaving to go into basic training. So I'm starting to run short on time. But I don't want to push my luck and its hard for me not to call him or text him just whenever I feel like it.

Fuck. I hate situations like this. I wasn't even supposed to get myself into a situation like this; where I like someone. But now that I'm in it, I'm having trouble getting it to go somewhere or to just simply get myself out of it.

Alright, I'm done. This entry is long enough anyway. I'll probably write some on either Bug or Blackfire later on. If not then I'll just write tomorrow.
2 Comments.


Crushes.... :| Sucks when you're shy eh?
» randomjunk on 2007-03-16 11:54:41

Re:comment
I'd make an inappropriate joke about having a little Irish in me, but I'm just not feeling up to it today. ;)
» ranor on 2007-03-17 06:40:00

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