I really should learn some sort of meditative techniques. I've been trying this new thing called breathing. It works most of the time. The times breathing doesn't work on it's own, I also resort to ranting.

I've added Chemistry to the math work that I'm doing on my own at home in order to better prepare myself for when I start school.

See, I was planning on starting this quarter, but since I'm still considered a non-resident {fuck you honest ways} I have to wait until the winter quarter before I can be considered a resident and not have to pay a shit ton of tuition. Even the financial aid only covers 30% if I'm a non resident. Well, I don't have $900 either, so fuck you very much shitty system.

It's frustrating sometimes because I am not in a class every day or every couple of days. I don't have an instructor who can explain how to better understand the curicculum being taught or that I can go up to and ask questions. I have just me, myself and the textbook. I do have Jacob's help, but he's not a teacher. I get frustrated really easily when I can't understand what he's trying to tell me and he gets frustrated because I can't understand what he's trying to tell me. I can understand, though. I know what it's like to try to explain something that I know how to easily do to someone who doesn't know how to do it. The shortcuts that are ingrained in to my brain won't work. I have to actually think about how it was back when I didn't understand something.

So I am working really hard on this breathing technique so that when I can't understand right away something that Jacob is trying to explain to me, I breathe and work through it. I stop him and ask him to slow down or maybe explain it a different way. Or I tell him what I'm getting out of it and if it's wrong maybe he could help me understand the correct way.

Still really frustrating at times, but I really am working on trying to be more patient. At least when it comes to this.

Anywho, I guess I really don't have much else to write about so I'll end it here. At least until I have something else to write about.

I wish I can help you with maths but I don't know how much different are yours as compared to mine...

I find breathing techniques and meditation helps sometimes.. but I'm not the kind to sit still for a long while so I don't do well. I still find ranting the best way to get rid of anger.. that and going for a run.
» Nuttz on 2011-07-25 12:59:42

trying new things and breathing through them
My first thought was that you were taking up snorkeling.

I think it's really good that you are working to not be as frustrated. Your relationship with Jacob is important, and it's good that you're keeping everything in perspective. I also feel frustrated when I don't understand something. I used to get mad, but then I realized that I was kind of abusing the very person who was trying to help me out.
» Zanzibar on 2011-07-27 10:31:26

Something I see people do when they want help is ask questions on Yahoo Answers. I don't know how reliable the results are though.

And yeah, New York really got under my skin... I think that I do partially just associate it with the good times I had with friends in college, but there's a lot to it that's great by itself...
» randomjunk on 2011-07-29 04:41:34

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