"The little details are practically irrelevant -- so stop stressing! Things are going to be fine in the end, and no amount of fretting is going to change that. Relax and enjoy what you're doing."

That's my horoscope for today. My friend told me to read it over and over until it's ingrained in to my head. He has a point. This is a very obvious subliminal message and I need to heed it well.

Unfortunately, I feel like crying. After taking too many steps at trying to be assertive and put myself out there, I've taken too many hits to really keep my confidence alive. You put yourself out there and get jack in return, it tends to cut a few notches off your self esteem.

I need a change, but I'm still stuck in this financial hole and it's keeping me pretty grounded. Getting a new apartment is out of the question. There's no way I want to spend money just to continually get rejected. Getting a new job is hard because I make a decent wage and most jobs that pay the same or more require a degree that I don't have, nor have the money to obtain. I'm apparently chasing after the wrong crowd of men because even though the ones I was interested in seemed to show an interest in me, I've gotten nothing out of it besides rejection.

Guess it's time to crawl back in to this hole that I tried so hard to get out of. Put all my focused efforts in paying off my debt and stop trying to change anything besides that.

It was silly of me to think that this year would improve within just the first two weeks of January. There's a whole 11 1/2 months left. I'll be fucked if this shit doesn't get better until the last half of December.

:( I hope things get better for you. Well, better soon.
» randomjunk on 2014-01-17 04:12:48

I hope things will be better for you! /hugs
If you want to cry, I would recommend this movie called "About Time". Sometimes just crying when you want to will make you feel better.
» Nuttz on 2014-01-18 11:15:32

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