That's what I feel like right now. I'm sitting alone in my apartment at quarter till 3 in the morning crying because of how completely alone I am. I have no one.

Justin isn't talking to me for whatever reason. Stuart is mad at me cuz of how many hickies I left on him. And in all honesty, I didn't even mean to leave more than one or two. So he's not talking to me either.

I really wish that I had someone who I could call right now, but I don't. You know why? Cuz I'm a pathetic waste. I have one friend. And I can't call her this early in the morning.

Why? Why does it have to be like this? Just when I was finally happy about something, it had to all go out the window. I guess I'm just not allowed to be happy. Like, by some crazy ass fucked up coinsidence, if I'm happy the world will explode.

Its times like this I wish I could just disappear. Just vanish from the earth. Its times like this that make me wonder if I ever really will be happy. If I'll ever find someone who I can talk to at any hour of the day if I need to. Someone who I can confide in and not feel uncomfortable telling them things. Someone who I can trust not to turn their back on me the first time I even remotely screw up.

I'm supposed to be this perfect person who does nothing wrong. Who is supposed to do whatever is told of them whenever they are told. And I just can't do it. I can't keep crying myself to sleep because I don't feel appreciated. I can't live the rest of my life alone, but by the way things are going, it looks as though that's what's going to happen. If every person is going to abandon me when I need them, then I guess I just need to get used to the tears.

I hate being like this. Please, God, make it stop.

:( I'm sorry you're alone. If only we lived closer, you could come hang out with me! I'm always around (for the most part)

Just look at it this way - you weren't meant to have anyone in Arizona because you don't really want to be there...he's saving the good ones for when you move back near your mom.
» lazypuppy on 2007-06-10 12:05:03

Woah, woah, woah... not talking to you because of hickies? That's just ridiculous and mean.

I'm sorry you feel so alone. I hope things get better for you.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-06-10 02:48:46

I agree with Chloefoxx, that's a terrible reason to be mad. He doesn't have some... "other woman", does he...?
» randomjunk on 2007-06-10 04:24:26

you're not that far away from me now - about an hour plane ride
» lazypuppy on 2007-06-10 09:50:18

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